Mediation FAQs

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Once both parties agree to mediation, they can then proceed to scheduling their pre-mediation appointments. These are two private hour-long consultations between the mediator and each individual party. The pre-mediations can be scheduled in the same block of time as the rest of the mediation, but generally are scheduled individually a day to a week before the mediation appointment. This makes things easy for both parties to fit in their private sessions according to their own schedule, and allows the mediation process time to breathe.

After the initial private pre-mediation consultations, the mediation can continue. The mediator will then meet with both sides together as a group. Many times this is done over Zoom. 

Once both parties have agreed to mediation, each party will need to review and sign a contract to proceed with the mediation. If you haven't discussed mediation with the other party yet but have questions as to how it works, please reach out to shane@agreetomediate.com or call 620-640-0724.

Basically, the contract is an agreement for both parties to mediate in good faith, communicate in a good manner, agree to take the resulting mediated agreement seriously and abide by it, etc. If you would like to see a contract in advance for consideration, this can be arranged.

To set the time and date, we will communicate via email and/or phone. We may need to go back and forth some to find a common time slot.  If both parties are in the same city, and are willing, we can meet in person. Otherwise, it often works well to meet via Zoom.

Typically mediation costs are split 50/50 between both parties. As mediation only works when both parties are willing, payment for both individual consultations is required before either consultation can take place. If one party backs out after the other party submits their fee, the mediation is cancelled and the fee will be reversed. 

Once both payments are submitted, along with the signed contracts, the contract is made official and the mediation process can begin. 

Problems can arise in any area of our life due to miscommunication or trouble compromising. Problem-solving can be streamlined through mediation by providing a neutral environment to come together and find a mutually agreeable common ground.

Mediation is also a way to find that common ground that is acceptable to both parties, without spending time and money on lawyers and court costs with no guarantee that the judge's decision will satisfy either party.

Anyone can use mediation, from business partners drawing up a contract, to spouses negotiating a divorce. Sometimes mediations are court-ordered, but it is always best to try mediation first for a dispute before bringing it to the court, when possible.

Ongoing relationships, whether business or personal, are prone to conflicts from time to time. Communication barriers can arise due to psychological issues such as emotions, misperceptions, status issues, and more. Oftentimes one or both parties are unaware of the true cause of the miscommunication, or have conflicting motives - which is a completely natural thing to have. A neutral third party trained to help navigate such barriers can have distinctly positive impact on settling the dispute, or repairing and preserving the working arrangement. 

The goal of mediation is to clear up miscommunication and allow two parties to find a mutual agreement in a dispute. Instead of having a decision imposed by a judge, with mediation the two parties are able to maintain control of the outcome and own the decision. All you need is the willingness to communicate/negotiate.

No, mediation is not only for court cases. While some mediations are court-ordered, it is always best to try mediation before going to court. This saves on court costs, including lawyers for both parties. 

With mediation, the only cost is the mediation session(s), and you control the outcome.

Good question. Wrong attitude. If there is a winner and a loser, the mediation failed. A successful mediation means both parties leave satisfied - a rockstar mediation means both parties leave with a strong foundation for an ongoing relationship continuing into the future.

No. Mediation is settled by both parties coming to a mutually satisfying agreement. If an agreement can't be reached, the mediation is unsuccessful. When that happens, if it then needs to be decided by the court, the judge decides - with no guarantee the result will be ideal to either party.

Usually this is split between both parties. 

Typically, both parties will pre-pay for their own pre-mediation appointments, and then each party will be expected to pay half of the first hour before the mediation will begin. This helps ensure that both parties are taking mediation seriously.

Two parties can mediate anything - even the rules of rock paper scissors - if it's worth it to them.

With a good mediator, and two parties who are serious about conflict resolution, the only possible downside might be cost, which is probably a fraction of what two lawyers would cost.  

Both parties have to be willing to mediate, otherwise mediation can't take place.

One thing to remember about people, is that if you want someone to do something, you have to make it something the other person wants to do as well. There may be something you can think of to make the other party interested.

Mediation normally takes about 3-5 hours in total. This is ideally broken up into multiple sessions, but can be done within the same block of time, if necessary. Mediation will start with each party having a one-on-one pre-mediation with the mediator to discuss the details, which typically lasts an hour. After the individual pre-mediation, the mediation can take place. This will typically last 1-2 hours, though sometimes it can take longer.

 From the time you first contact me about mediation to the point when the mediation is concluded and an agreement is reached, what you tell me is completely confidential. I will not tell anyone what we have discussed, what has been agreed to, the words spoken at any point, or even what I've observed.
This applies even to general inquiries from you that happen before we sign a contract. My confidentiality is guaranteed.
There are three exceptions:
1.  If I have written agreement from both of you.
2.  If I find out there is a child in need of protection, I am a mandated reporter and I will have to report this to the police.
3.  Likewise, if I find out that either of you are in danger of bodily harm, I will have to report that.